Foursquare: Do You Accept Friend Requests From Strangers?

Colin

Published: 01/29/2010Posted in: Featured, Social Media, ToolsTags: foursquare, friend requests, privacy, security

Foursquare: Do You Accept Friend Requests From Strangers?

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As I type, I’m sitting on 27 pending friend requests on Foursquare. Why? Because I don’t know any of them.

Normally, I’d be one to simply accept the invitation and move on, but, lately, I’ve been giving it a bit more thought.

For those who aren’t familiar, Foursquare is a location based mobile application. When you fire up the app on your smart phone, it knows approximately where you’re located, and you can check in at the location you’re frequenting. There’s much more to the service, but for the sake of this post — check out this great primer on Foursquare here.

I asked this question to Twitter the other day, and got a lot of mixed responses. I’d like to open this question up to debate by doing an old school pros & cons list.

Why You Should Accept Requests

At its core, Foursquare is much like Twitter in that it facilitates connections. There have been many occasions where my Foursquare checking in has led to in person meetings with people I wouldn’t normally get a chance to see.

Its also helped me discover cool new spots in my city, which, when you’re trying to find a cool place to take a business contact to lunch (or a great spot for a dinner date), can help tremendously.

Call me naïve, but at this stage in the game, I tend to believe that the majority of people joining and participating in Foursquare are in it for all the right reasons. Most social media “strangers” that I meet are engaging and incredibly kind. Why would I want to put a barrier in front of more of those connections?

Besides, if you’re one of those Foursquare users who ties your account into other social networks like Facebook and Twitter — you’re broadcasting to the world anyway, so why not make a few friends while you’re at it?

Why You Shouldn’t Accept Requests

The biggest problem most people seem to have with location based applications like Foursquare is that they remove one of the final layers of privacy online — your physical location. Sure, you could always update your Twitter or Facebook status, but it’s not the same as broadcasting your local travel habits to people who you may not know very well.

Accepting friend requests from strangers could lead to cases of stalking, burglary, or worse. Why would you open yourself up to the risk?

Besides the lack of privacy and safety issues, if you accept requests from people you don’t know, your stream gets flooded and you can’t keep up with the people you actually want to see. And if you have push notifications turned on? Forget about it. Your phone will be buzzing like there’s no tomorrow.

So where do you stand? Is Foursquare the ultimate IRL tool or is it just another way you’re sacrificing your privacy online?

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Foodie_Chris

Personally, I use foursquare as a game that helps me explore restaurants in the area. Almost all of the people I follow I have not met IRL. I gennerally request to follow the mayor of a place I like, of if someone left a positive about a place and when I go to the restaurant they liked and I agree, I will start to follow them. I also Follow People who oust me as mayor, as they probably go to places that I would like to go. Using this technique, I have found several restaurants (and a few new fave's) in the DFW area that I would not have stumbled upon otherwise. The problem I found was that my twitter followers, and friends on facebok aren't on foursquare and they started to 'unfollow' as they weren't playing the game. My fix to this was to create a twitter account for foursquare i.e. @Foodie_Chris.

Since @Foodie_Chris is not my normal twitter account and therefore I am relatively unknown (well I guess after this post it won't be too hard to figure out who I am) all the people I play foursquare with also see this twitter account, there is no one who know's me or follows my regular twitter account that know me as @foodie_Chris to know who I am. (Okay that felt a little bit like a line from I Love Lucy!). What that means is all of my followers (presently) and all the people @Foodie_Chris folows are people playing foursquare.

Admitedly, there was one occasion where I had reservations at a restaurant I regularly frequent, and three hours before I got there someone from my friends list on foursquare was there as well. Turns out, there was a social media club event going on, and had I paid more attention to my twitter, I would have know that before I walked in. It was a little odd, but since I am the Mayor at this restaurant, I am not going to feel bad about it, as one should expect me to walk in to a place where I am the mayor, and frankly this person goes to enough of the same places I frequent that eventually going to run into them, foursquare or no, and probably already have and didn't realize it.

At the begining of this year, my wife and I took a brief trip down to Austin, I looked on foursquare (& Gowalla) and found restaurants near our hotel that were absolutely fabulous! we avoided all chain restaurants the entire trip, and had a wonderfull time.

Last week, I had business downtown Ft. Worth, turns out I haven't been there in 7 years and things have changed a lot, I found a few cool bars (that I added - and got cool points for), checked in at the Water Gardens - an amazing place (reminder: take wifey to Water Gardens) and in all fairness, I was more worried about getting robbed because of where I parked on the street, than because someone I follow/follow's me might pop into the pup I found to have a drink.

If the real purpose of foursquare is to get out and explore the city, as I think it is. Then the only way you are really going to get to explore the city/get out of your comfort zone/try something new, is if you accept requests from people you don't know, in fact as I write this I am thinking it might not be a bad idea to only follow people you don't know. I mean really, you know who your firends are, you go places with them anyway, you don't need to follow them, in fact THAT seems a little creepy to me.

No wait, that may be a bit hard. I have a friend on foursquare I know IRL lives down in Houston, and like me is not a 20something but also like me is a bit of an extrovert and also like me, trying to get a handle on how social media can help me/him. Let me explain. . .

On twitter I started to follow and talk to some of the same tweetfolk he talks to and it is because of him that I even know about foursquare, and otherwise would not be playing the game. I am probably better plugged in to the whole social Media thing in Houston than I am in Dallas because of it. I have been invited to their 'tweetups' where they schedule an event and only X # of seeats are available for these like minded 'stranges' to meet each other.

I might go to an event like that, as I am an extrovert and would prefer to have this discussion at a bar, or on the street, or at a table, with a person I can speak to face to face where I can see their reaction and get an honest feel for their reaction as opposed to in my bathrobe at my desk in my office at home LOL.

But seriously, if you want to find new places to go, your not going to get there going to the places youve always gone. Likewise how are you going to find out about new places in your area if you don't listen to the people
who are going there?

Woried about Stalker Ex? Play Foursquare with a dummy account, it doesn't take much to change your twitter account associated with foursquare, and costs a hell of a lot less than changing your phone number.

Too many random people pinging you from out of town? Then you can turn off their push notifications.

Too many people pinging you period? Turn off all push notifications.

You happen to be in MmmWherever and want to visit LibraryGuy? even if push notifications are off, you can still see who is in town as you are now in MmmWherever and your home town will list the people you normally follow as out of town.

Hope my perspective helped.

P.S. As far as how this is going to affect SXSWi? It's going to take a better man than I to answer that question.

Colin Alsheimer

Thanks for the great comment Chris! I think the way you use Foursquare is pretty interesting. I've mostly used Foursquare as a discovery engine through Twitter. When I see someone I know check in at a place I haven't been to yet, I'll make a mental note to check it out sometime. I'd really like to see more local businesses leveraging Foursquare. I have to say though, I'm surprised people unfollowed you for your Foursquare check-ins...

Dylan

Would you give your phone number to a total stranger? I don't mean that rhetorically. You might be perfectly comfortable with it.

It's worth considering because, location issues aside, friending on Foursquare does exactly that.I can pull the profile of anyone marked as Friend and see buttons for Text, Email, and Call. And they work.

Colin Alsheimer

Very good point, you've done that to me several times! :) We do need to finally meet IRL, btw.

cgawley

Or you can just let the world follow you where you go, and call them out as "stalkers" when need be.. Keep it real and transparent. Privacy is so last year.

Angela

This was such a timely post for me! I just signed up for Foursquare a couple of weeks ago and recently started getting the random friend requests. I link my Foursquare to my personal Twitter account and some of my friends that are not active in social media thought it was creepy how I was broadcasting where I was on the weekends. I totally understand their points and definitely see the potential dangers in location-based mobile apps. I don't, however, have any hesitations in ignoring friend requests from people in other cities. I don't understand why someone in Connecticut cares where I am, and I surely don’t care that he’s at the public library yet again.

It will be interesting to see if/when Foursquare and Gowalla implement safety measures on their apps to prevent any future misuse and harmful consequences from occurring.

Valerie

For me, adding people I don't know in other cities would help in case I ever go there. For example, if I'm following someone in LA, when I go out there, I can look at where they frequent and maybe find out about some locations that I never would have heard about before. And I find that to be beneficial. Even in my own city, it's nice to see where people go, maybe it's the new hot spot! Who knows? Of course there's the privacy risk, and that's always going to be a concern. But it's just like everything else on the internet, someone's going to ruin it at some point. I think that if you're accepting completely random requests from someone that you've never had interactions with, then that is a bad idea. But if it is someone you've been interacting with and feel comfortable then it's no big deal

Colin Alsheimer

Thanks Valerie! I agree that the idea of being "in the know" for other cities is an interesting concept. It may not be enough of a reason to be open with your network, but it's still a cool idea.

Joe Flowers

I will admit guilt as far as using the Twitter Finder function when I first signed up. Then I realized I didn't care that a random in Sacramento was still in love with his corner Starbucks.

I don't mind friending someone that requests me if they're in Dallas or another city I would frequent on a normal basis. I like to see where people in my area like to visit over and over again - especially if it's a place I've never visited. Plus it's a good way to keep tabs on what's trending in the city.

I like what @cgawley had to say about connecting with your Outlook or Gmail contacts first. That would be a lot better.

I think it's only a matter of time before someone gets robbed or vandalized because of Foursquare. It happened on Facebook and Twitter - some people just don't see the danger in oversharing until it's too late.

Colin Alsheimer

I agree... someone's going to find a way to exploit it to the detriment of another user. I wonder what kinds of safety mechanisms Foursquare could put into place to help prevent against this?

Mike D. Merrill

Colin, I have quite a few pending requests as well from folks outside of Dallas. One of the big benefits of location-based networks such as foursquare is the opportunity to create a micro-community of those you may be most interested in. Personally, I've just started ignoring them.

I can see however that for #sxswi this could be valuable.

Colin Alsheimer

SXSW is going to be ridiculous for location based apps. Gowalla in particular, I think.

Nic

I friend everyone. I thought Foursquare was a game. The thought that someone, even a friend, would see where I am and head over there is just plain weird. I used it as a game and to discover new things in the city. I never saw a problem with it.

But if people are using it to go to the places where I check in while I'm there to meet me, that's just waaaaaaaaaay to weird for me. Even if they are my friends. I've closed my account. I guess I'm just not that social. :)

Colin Alsheimer

I wouldn't want people to just "show up" where I am. But if they saw I was some place, and they pinged me first? That would be pretty cool. Thanks for the comment!

chevis

I am glad you brought this up Colin. I have been struggling with this myself and I actually went through and cleaned out my Foursquare friends list the other day. Yes, I do want the chance to meet people that I follow via social media but I live in Dallas - is there a reason I should be friends with someone in Montana? No.

The privacy issue will keep coming up and although I love getting the chance to see people around town and going to places I may not know about, I am still aware of where I am checking in and how many times I am doing it.

@Alyssa: You also brought up a great point. I always try and look at the person's Facebook and Twitter profile before I even think about pushing accept.

Colin Alsheimer

There's an interesting idea that @valerie brings up below, which I've thought about before as well re: following someone in another city / state. If you travel frequently, you may want to know where contacts in other cities are hanging out, so that when you're in town, it's easier to get together with them. Probably not the best reason, but it's an interesting thought.

chevis

That is very true. I have accepted a few requests from cities I do travel to from time to time but if I don't know someone, don't follow them on Twitter and don't think I will be in their city anytime soon, then I usually press ignore. Pressing ignore makes me feel so bad though. They need to come up with a better name for it like, Not now thanks - maybe later...

Angela

You can tell you're from the South, Chevis! You always show that Southern politeness even when ignoring a potential stalker! :)

Colin Alsheimer

Hey... I'm from the north, and I'd like that option too! I do feel bad pressing the "ignore" button. :)

CynthiaSmoot

Hey Colin, great topic! I love Foursquare because it allows you to take your online friends and meet up with them OFFLINE to connect (a topic of conversation we debated earlier this week here: http://bit.ly/aYVR0L). If I am using Foursquare the way it is intended - to see where my friends are and connect with them (okay, and to rack up badges) - why would I want to clutter up my stream with people I don't know and who live in other cities? To me, the purpose of Foursquare is totally different than the purpose of Twitter. Anybody read that Dunbar report that was being circulated earlier this week about your sphere of influence being with 150 people? In 2010, I am all about STREAMLINING to control the clutter and noise. There are people who just want to brag about their large following but their numbers are useless and then there are those who would rather have quality over quantity. I'm pitching my tent in the Camp Quality. Who's with me?!

Colin Alsheimer

Personally, I like to be pretty open with my network (I have several reasons for this, which I may do a future post on), but it would be nice to have a network that is JUST for friends / family and people I know IRL. Good luck with your streamlining!

Alyssa G

I can see both sides of the argument, but I am firmly on the side of only accepting requests from people I know personally. I do have to say, I stretch this sometimes for people I've spoken to online but not IRL, but that's a very rare exception.

As compensation for keeping this as a closed social network, I'll tweet when I'm at an event that's social media related or if I would have posted it on Facebook & commented anyway. That way, I'm sharing socially the locations and events that I want to, but also connecting with my friends via this great application. I think it's a good balance.

cgawley

It would make more sense to connect with your Gmail Contacts, Outlook/Exchange Contacts than Twitter Followers. I wish they would just take this off (Twitter Finder). It makes sense to connect using the Twitter Finder through most apps but Location Based Apps could probably go without.

Colin Alsheimer

I do like that approach, although there are many social media contacts who I talk with regularly (and trust), but don't yet have an e-mail address for.

Eddy Badrina

No way. I already have a healthy apprehension about geo-tracking due to my experience in the intel world (joining Foursquare last night notwithstanding), so strangers tracking my physical location, IMHO, is muy dangeroso.

Abby

I also have a bunch of friend requests that I haven't dealt with on Foursquare. I think many of them are coming from the Twitter friend finder -- probably from people who are following me but that I'm not following back or that I've never interacted with. I don't want to be rude by rejecting them, but I'm also not sure I want someone I've never even chatted with to know exactly where I am. I'm about to move to a new city all by myself; the last thing I need is that one creepy person who takes it a little too far.

Foursquare is an awesome tool w/ many potential uses, but I think it may be a network that is best used to connect with people you've already developed some semblance of a relationship with on another social network (rather than it being the place you actually "meet" and develop the relationship like you do on Twitter). Honestly, I think I'll just continue to let the friend requests build up. That way I don't have to be rude or worry.

Colin Alsheimer

Abby, thank you for the comment! I do think I'm leaning towards keeping the network free of people I don't yet know... we'll see though.

cgawley

This is going to continue to be a issue if you are a person with a large amount of Twitter Followers. A good majority of your Twitter followers not only live elsewhere but you don't know them either. Since Foursquare and Gowalla have a "Find your Friends on Twitter" integration built in, this is going to continue to be an issue. Unfortunately, as Foursquare and Gowalla becomes more popular this number of random followers will continue to grow.

Colin Alsheimer

I agree... I have a feeling most of the requests are coming from Twitter. But, I've noticed a major uptick since I've been cross posting my foursquare checkins to Twitter & Facebook.

Alyssa G

I think this is the major reason for the huge increase in invitations. The problem is, Foursquare doesn't differentiate between the people you're following but aren't following back and the users who are following you as well. I'm much more likely to accept a request from someone I know and follow versus someone who has passively been watching my tweets.

Which, now that I think about it, doesn't sound safe at all.